WYD

Three simple letters that, in bad grammatical form, stand for three simple words: What You Doing? People ask this every day of others they love, others they like and some they just met. Our FOMO (fear of missing out) on life leads us to ask questions like this on a regular basis. We are all so consumed with the "what" of people's lives that we too often miss the "how".

When was the last time you asked someone how they were and expected more than a quick "I'm good. How are you" in return? When we ask someone their plans for the day we look for details: First I'm going to work but when I get off at 5pm I'll go home, shower and then head to dinner with friends and then maybe meet up with someone else for a movie, etc... etc... If they give us anything less than full information, we keep asking until we're satisfied with their answer. However, when we ask "How are you", we allow the bare minimum to suffice. Why? Because this is a question that is polite and politically correct to ask, but it's not a question we truly want to hear the answer. We don't want to take the time to know how people really are in that moment. What happens if you ask that question and the other person answers honestly: I'm not good today. I'm feeling down and I can't explain the causes. I just want to go home, curl up in the bed and sleep the day away. But what's next? How do you respond to that? This type of transparent honesty is so out of the "norm" that there is very little precedent on what comes next. So little precedent that I don't even know what to say here.

It makes me sad that we spend our days with people we would rather not know more than just surface level. It breaks my heart to know that the "fake-ness' of reality is all we really want to see. It's crazy to me to know that we watch each other's reels and stories and think we know the other person and judge their lives based on pictures and 15 second videos. My life is much more than a scroll or a swipe up. It's not perfect, it's not picturesque. It's not always happy, it's not always sad. But it is my life. I want someone to ask me how I am and truly want to hear the answer. I want to be bold enough to say how I am when someone asks and not just blow off the question with an "I'm ok". Essentially, I want to be seen for where I am and who I am.

But in order to require this of others, I must be willing to do the same for them. I want to know how you are. I want to hear the good the bad and the ugly. I want to see you the way you want to be seen. I want to hear your words from your mouth about you. I want to want this every day, but in reality, I struggle. I struggle to be around people day in and day out. I need my alone time. How am I? Today, I am tired of being around people and making small talk. I do want to stay home and curl up in the bed. I want to be better, but I also want to sleep. I also think that part of my issue of being around people is the fake-ness that comes with it. Maybe if we were all real and answered questions with the utmost truth it would be easier to be around people day in and day out. I'd like to know WYD, but I'd much rather hear HYD (how you doing).