Still Wondering...

Well, you can probably guess by the title that I'm still learning about myself. But what I did learn was valuable and a little revealing.

Day 1:

I love the smell of books. Whether they are new or old, paperback or hard cover, I love them all. Therefore, one of my happy places is either the library or a book store. My first day "alone", I made my way to the library and spent three hours just sitting, reading, and working (I'm currently pursuing my bachelor's degree... finally!). This time was peaceful and I made sure to sit in the grownups section far away from the children's books.

I also love fruit, specifically blended together in the form of a smoothie. So while I was enjoying the atmosphere in the library, I had a smoothie next to me giving me life with a side of sweetness.

One thing I have known for awhile is that my safe space is my car. This has nothing to do with the kind of car I own or the size of my car. It has everything to do with the fact that I can sit in my car, alone with the doors locked and the sunshade pulled shut and just breathe. It is the one place in which I feel the safest (probably because of past hurts and pains). So, yes, this is where I had lunch. Chicken nachos with a side of queso and a chocolate chip cookie (for the sweetness) while sitting in my car with the sunshade up and Netflix playing on my phone. It felt like peace. It felt life giving.

Last but not least, I enjoy a good facial. I'm not big on massages (actually I hate them. I cannot stand someone touching me in that manner... again probably from past hurts and pains). But facials are a great way to relax and just breathe with no talking and no one touching my body. So I got a facial. 90 minutes of lavendar and papaya smells, face masks, and a temple massage

. It was relaxing, soothing and yes, I think I fell asleep for a bit.

Overall, day one seemed to be a day of safe spaces, relaxing activities, and smells that highlight my love of books.

Day 2:

So it seems like yesterday was my ambitious day. Today was a big question mark. It turns out all I know about my likes and dislikes are what I mentioned above in Day 1. After doing a little school work this morning, I had absolutely no idea what to do with myself. So much so that I called my children to see what they were doing. I don't know who I am without my children and their hobbies and extra curricular activities. I know I like books, smoothies and naps. And at this point in life, that may have to be enough for me.

Tomorrow, I pick up the children and head back home. Alone time is over and it's time to get the school schedule going again. At least this is something I know how to do.

By the way... if you have any suggestions on something I can do when there are no children around (though it may be awhile before I get that time again), let me know. I would be more than interested to hear what else is out there.